21^st April 2021, my son turns 15!! Time has passed in the blink of an eye. I have vivid memories of the time that I was carrying him. That period marked hearing a lot of experiences of all the mothers I would meet, filtering all the advice that I would receive and moreover, making lists of things I would need to buy before the arrival of my baby. Just like every ‘First time Mom’,

 I wanted things to be perfect and all in place for my new born.

Then came the day when I had to leave for the hospital for my delivery. My bag and the baby’s bag were ready as per the listed requirements and I left for the hospital. Even in my nervousness of my apprehension of what was going to unfold, I complimented myself in my head of being proactive and organized. Before the D day, I had checked and rechecked the bags time and again for all the necessary items.

The baby boy came into the world and I adoringly handed over him to the nurse after feeding him. He was taken in a for a bath and I proudly provided all the toiletries, his hand embroidered baby towel with a hood, clothes, nappies with matching nappy pins, color coordinated socks and swaddling cloth. I appeared like a ‘First time Mom’ totally in control. The nurse brought in my baby after he was ready and announced, “We need a cotton cap and mittens. The baby’s head needs to be covered in the air-conditioning and his nails are too sharp. He might scratch himself and bleed. The mittens will protect him”. Mittens and cap, in the middle of summer, who would have thought of that and why did nobody guide me??? My ‘Know it all’ image came crashing down.

In the next few months, I realized I had been over enthusiastic to buy things that I actually did not use. Thanks to any and every advice that I took I bought a baby gym, three kinds of baby bags, millions of bottles that never got used along with soothers, nasal pump, baby food grinder and much more. One of the things I invested in even before my baby was born was an electric breast pump. I had thought that I would certainly need my freedom to go out and will leave the baby with a feed for a while. It never happened. The nanny and the baby accompanied me everywhere and my son never got used to the bottle until I weaned him off mother’s milk at 11 months. This was just one of the many things that lay bundled in a corner. Why can’t somebody be there professionally to guide one on this.

Talking about image, when I look back at my pictures during my pregnancy, I often wish I had someone to guide me for my appearance to look smart yet comfortable. The maternity clothes make one look oversized and little do people realize that with so many changes in the body, your appearance can work wonders for your confidence. Instead, I remember people giving me looks which said, “Forgive her dress sense, she is pregnant!”

One doesn’t turn to moms so often for advice thinking times have changed and they did not keep themselves updated. One tends to rely on books and information from the internet. Looking back, I should have invested in professional help to prepare me holistically – physically, emotionally, socially and responsibly. There is no way to be a perfect mother but a million ways to be a good one, that can be learnt.